The Hokey Pokey of Your Self

By Cindy

“You put your whole Self in, you put your whole Self out, you put your whole Self in and you shake it all about. You do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around, that’s what it’s all about.”

Does this tune bring back memories? I’m a former roller skater (the four-wheel type and it wasn’t Roller Derby!). I have fond memories of those days – I skated competitively and loved the roller rink.

For some reason that tune popped into my head this week and I focused on the words “Whole Self”. Well, what does that mean? To me, it means being all of who you are and not being influenced by what others think – in other words, you don’t dwarf who you are. You don’t shrink back and you don’t play small when you have the opportunity to play big. You aren’t influenced by others opinions of what you should do or who you should be. You turn to that “inner guidance system” we all possess and call your shots from there.

I asked myself a question: When do we actually put our whole selves in? In what? In life. I have been in situations where my “whole self” was there and shouldn’t have been. I have also played it safe and only put my “safe self” in. Isn’t life sometimes just like this tune? We put our whole self in and then something happens not to our liking and we think (uh-oh that doesn’t feel good) so we take our whole self out again (better play it safe). We get confused and feel like our emotions are “shaking us all about”, and then we “turn ourselves around” and start it all over again.

Hokey Pokey The Self Consultancy Cindy Valliere

So what’s the message here? Our security lies within us. That means having the confidence to put your whole self in and take a risk – knowing that you will also have the confidence to leave when it no longer serves you being there.

One of my favorite sayings is by Kenny Rogers, “You’ve got to know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em.” In my own life, I’ve learned to pay attention to the clues.

That’s one of the reasons why I journal. I read back and see the clues. Clues to stay and clues to leave. Or clues to ride it out. Going within is where the power is. I recall a friend telling me about a bumper sticker that said: “The truth will set you free. But first it will tick you off!” Learning about yourself will allow you to be truthful to YOU.

To close with the last stanza in The Hokey Pokey… that’s what it’s all about!